Last night I tried one of those goth orgies. Supposedly thats what's hot on the streets right now, but when I got there, everyone laughed at my package. They tried to kick me out, but I wouldn't leave. Then this guy came up:

he hit me in the face with a string of beads.... He hit me in the eye... I think it got infected, take a look

p.s. I think it might be herpes